We all have needs that we look to get met through other people. When those needs don't get met, we simply cannot thrive. Most people tend to have one of three styles of getting needs met: they either primarily give, take, or reciprocate.
Reciprocators believe in a fair trade in which they give of themselves, helping other people get their needs met, and expect to receive in return in reasonable ways. They have clear, reasonable boundaries and are not afraid to communicate and enforce them.
Givers also value giving in the hopes that it will get their needs met, but they often have poor boundaries. Sometimes they over-give without considering how they are harming themselves in the process, and then expect other people to give in the same way. Sometimes they give with uncommunicated and/or unreasonable strings attached. Givers tend to suffer from exhaustion and resentment in their relationships.
Takers often theoretically value giving of themselves, but do not end up giving enough to create healthy, interdependent relationships. They tend to be dismissive of their own and others' needs and behave counter-dependently without necessarily meaning to. They highly value independence and do not realize that relying on each other with healthy boundaries in place is what sets us all free. Givers and Takers tend to attract each other, and Takers rarely form relationships with each other. Takers often find that their relationships seem to be going great until suddenly their Giver or Reciprocator partner brings up a problem relating to an unmet need, which the Taker does not believe in sharing responsibility for or does not want to deal with, and the "war of ways" begins when the partner is a Giver, or the relationship soon ends when it's a Reciprocator.
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