My thoughts used to be really shaming and critical. I would think, "Wow, you're so stupid, Bridget." "Yeah, I am. 😞 but I'm trying not to be!" I would have thought patterns like this anytime I would make a mistake.
But I learned to think more compassionately and objectively about myself and other people and unlearn the shaming/critical attitudes I had acquired.
When the negative thoughts would pop up, I would challenge them. "There you go again being an idiot." "Wait. Sure, that might not have been the best decision, but I'm sure it was understandable. Let's look at the behavior from a compassionate perspective..."
Nowadays, I still have automatic negative thoughts about myself when I feel that my behavior may have done me or someone else some harm, but it's now automatic for me to respond positively to the negative thought. "Ohhh!!! I'm the worst!" "No I'm not! I'm wonderful." And then I start analyzing the situation.
It's so nice to hear myself defend myself! And which voice do I believe? I believe the kind one! I've come a long way, and I know my clients can do it too. We can learn to stop feeling ashamed of ourselves and think more objectively and healthily.
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